My date with his parents

Okay, before I tell you all the romantic details let me start where it all started.
On the 15th was a tri-stake dance and my boyfriend "Indy" had just gotten back from his trip to his mom's in Maine. So I was very excited about finally seeing him! I spent almost two weeks picking out what to wear ( I'm not normally like that) I figured out what I was going to wear about two hours before the dance.... Skipping forward...... There was a bet going on with most of the youth from our stake and some of the leaders, that he and I would sneak out and spend the whole dance making out. Well, to be honest we didn't even think about it until we heard about the bet. Once there we both moved all around the room making sure everyone saw that we never left the room. On the last song which was "Never Say Never" I was standing next to this guy I use to have a crush on and "Indy" just took my hand and took me to dance, we were under the lights and neither of us were saying a word, just looking into eachothers eyes and I got totally lost in the moment. Until he took off the chain necklace of his (Which is from his home town in Germony and is very very important to him) he moved my hair and put it on me and I gave him something that means just as much to me. He walked me to the car and we said goodnight.

Since then I've missed him like crazy and when he has ROTC and we don't get to talk, it drives me insane. We finally had a date planned and his parents told him either we find two mormon couples we BOTH know or they come with us.. We looked and looked and looked. Never found one couple that we both knew. So his dad and step mom said they'd be coming with us. Which is fine, not like we had any plans to do anything bad anyway. Friday (the day before the date) I got to thinking, these are his papents... The parents of someone who matters the world to me.. What if they don't like me? Or what if I'm not what/who they think? Oh my gosh I got so nervous that he said "Their just people" well that's fine but I don'w well with people. So I'm even more nervous. I had some what spoken with his father on the phone, and knew that he's a very teasing and playful person. No problem with that right but he's still my boyfriends father. I got so nervous I threw up....... I have NEVER in my life been that nervous.
Saturday came around and "Indy's" phone wasn't working so we hardly got to talk. I got ready and tried not to throw up again. We dicided to meet at the Herb Shop where my mom works. I sat there nervously waiting until he got there and I went out to meet his family.
We got in the car and headed to Long Horn. I hardly talk when I'm nervous so the ride was kinda quite. After his dad teased me about getting a salad, and we began to talk "Indy" reaches over and grabbs my hand. We held hands for most of the dance so I was kinda hopping he'd hold my hand on the date too. We ate our supper and drove over to the movies, we stood in line for a while when I got kinda cold and he put his arms around me (yes it was all sweet and everything) we decided to sit with his parents, which was fine. Again we had no plans to do anything so nothing to hide. As the movie started I slid over and rested my hear on his sholder and he put his arm around and I grabbed his hand. Every now and then we'd just sit there an look at eachother till I started to blush and looked away. Now we sat like that the whole movie! I totally loved it!

When the lights came on his step mom got up and shortly we did too, then all four of us walked out into the parking lot and waited for my dad and Manti to pick me up. "Indy" and I stood there and talked until I heard our dodge coming. How they knew where we were I'll nebver know cuz they pulled up right infront of us. They walked me over to the car and "Indy" gave my dad something and we hugged and said goodnight.

We were texting before either of us got out of the parking lot :-)

So even though I started off so nervous I was sick, the night went very well and I had one of the best nights of my life! I didn't say anything stupid, he's parents didn't hate me. I'd say that's a good night. I can't wait until I get to be with him again!

Sadly though we didn't get any pictures of us together. But will soon I hope :-)

My Heartaches

Well I went looking thru my poems and found this one. I really like it because it seemed to come together when I started writting.

My Heartaches
By Mesa Bailey
May 22, 2009

My heart sinks into my chest,
As I search for the words best.
I didn’t mean for this,
Got lost in the hope for bliss!But now I’m standing here alone,
If only you had known.
Waiting out side in the rain,
Wishing it would wash away the pain.
Looking into your eyes,
My words come as such a surprise.
The sorrow that I feel,
Oh the pain, it’s so real.
My heart sinks into my chest,
What are the words best?
Can’t hold back my tears,
Their drowned only by my fears!
Watching the pain in your eyes,
My own heartache is such a surprise.
The loneliness and fear,
Just knowing that your not here.
My heart sinks into my chest.
Never found the words best!

Butterfly Of My Heart

Here is one of my favorite poems, I wrote it some time ago.

Butterfly Of My Heart
By Mesa Bailey
August 22 2008

I’m going to let my hair fall down,
Sit and watch the rain,
Come around.
Each drop is a beautiful sound!
Shut my eyes,
So my heart can see
All that your love dose to me!
Take me heart and fly away,
In the clouds I’ll,
Always stay.

Just wait and see,
What the truth will be.
Just sit and wait with me!
Stand here and close your eyes,
Here’s life,
It’s your surprise!

Listen to the wind,
Let go and let your heart mend.

I’m going to let my hair fall down,
Every time,
I see the sun come around.
Watch the rays as the dance on the ground!

Shut my eyes so I can see,
The beauty that surrounds me!

Does that chapter end or is it only beginning?

Well hmm, where to start? Here I'll start with this. When I was 15 I went to a friends mission farewell and met a guy.. Didn't think anyting about him, I mean I didn't pay attention to him AT ALL... Till I started seeing him more at church and began to notice things about him, things like how his eyes shine when he smiled and the way he laughed. You know that kinda thing.
I never meant to fall for him! Never ever did I try to even like him, because well.. He was a missionary... (Yeah I know bad Mesa! Very bad Mesa)

Long story short he began to feel the same, and asked to be moved. It was really hard for the first little while and I was always thinking about him. Let me tell you, that'll drive you crazy! Little after a year later I met this other guy at a powwow, not the best guy in the world and infact he wasn't really a good guy at all. I thought Zack would help me forget about the missionary and he did a little. But six months later after a the longest relationship I've ever had things ended badly with Zack and I was hardly thinking about the missionary at all.
Then a few months later a friend of mine and I began to talk more and more and we dated some, then he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, due to reasons I rather not go into at the moment I broke things off soon after a month of being together with Sean.
By then I never thought about the missionary.

Now I have another boyfriend who makes me really really REALLY happy and means to world to me, his name "Indy" well Indy isn't his real name, but you know how some people like my dad are named Thomas and go by Tom? Ok with Indy it's pretty much the same thing. So life is good and I'm happier then I've been in a long time, well then I find the poem I wrote about the missionary a few years ago and of corse that got me thinking about him. So before I finsh the story here is my poem. Ridiculous.

Ridiculous
Mesa Bailey
December 2 2007

Can’t let myself feel like this!
It’s so ridiculous.
I find I’m thinking about you,
Both day and night
But still I wonder,
Is it right?
To want to see you’re face,
Smiling back to me,
To long for you’re voice,
That’s calling my name.
This is not the same!
I feel so ridiculous,
Why do I feel like this?
Every where I turn,
I see you’re loving face.
I wonder if it’s right.
Only to prepare for the fight!
Can’t do this to myself!
Even still,
I don’t want to let you go.
Can we be?
I just don’t know.
I love for you.
I can never show!
I’m so ridiculous.
It’s so ridiculous,
To hide from this!

So it may sound really silly coming from a 15 year old girl, but that's truely how I felt. Now heres the part that throws me for a loop, I mean holy cow have I gone crazy!...

Last time I saw the missionary he came back to Georgia to tell me he was getting married. Yes that shattered my heart, I was hurt for a very long time. But a year or so later I have a good boyfriend who I care a lot about (Indy) So about a week ago guess who I see at church......... The missionary... Yeah I'm shocked and caught off guard by him being at church, I did what any normal teenager would do, I hid. I over heard him talking about why he came back and was majorly shocked. So much so I started crying.

A day or three later daddy and I are sitting on the sofa talking about well a lot of things. It was one of "those" talks, you know, and I told him about Elder Manley and we talked about him for a while. After we were done talking I went back to my chores and my cell phone rings. It wasn't the song I have set for my boyfriend or my mom, so I knew it wasn't that important. It didn't show a number, but I answered it anyway and guess who it is..... Speak of the devil, (or in my case elder) it's Elder Manley all he said was " Hello Mesa" and I dropped the phone and it shut and hung up on him. Daddy looked up at me and smiled and said "Well now, who was that?" Stunned I couldn't answer him and insted I started crying and he came and hugged me and we started laughing at his timing.

Since then I've spoken once on the phone with the Elder and learned his first name and all that stuff. He's gone back out of Georgia now and said he'd write me when he got home.

People say being a teenager is confussing. Trust me, it's VERY confussing. LOL
So my worlds been turned up side down, I'm not sure how I feel about anything anymore. Which is fine.

Only nine days until Indy comes home (which I'm very excited for!!!!) That's one thing I do know, I can't wait until he's home again and I can see him :-)

Whoa, I feel all better and kinda light headed now. So as you can see, this truely the Madness of Mesa.