I've had a friend for a while whom I had met at my very firt YSA thing, I thought he was cute but I was in a relationship at the time so we became pretty good friends.
As time passed we talked more and more and I started to like him, so I invited him to come down to the powwow I was going to and he actually came. We hung out and had a great time, when he went to leave I did everything I could think of to stall and keep him there because I just didn't want that day to end.
Sometime after that we started dating, he asked me a couple times to be his girlfriend and I said no because I had been so hurt in the past and I felt like I wasn't worth much so I turned him down. He knew I really liked him and was a little scared so he didn't push and we kept up our talking.
So I don't know how long we've been boyfriend-girlfriend but we very much are, our relationship isn't like others how ever.. We pray together and we read scriptures together as well, he isn't that kinda guy that has to kiss me all the time or constantly have his arm around or whatever. He's very laid back and respectful of me, he knows I don't like being touched so most of the time I grab his hand or hug him.
I find myself being completely open and honest with him, we have no secrets from each other, even on the bad things, and I for one am very glad of that.
But there's something more, it's almost impossible to explain really. I struggle to find words that come close to describing it but he makes me feel important and special, I know I matter to him and there have been times where I just needed him so he dropped everything and drove and hour and a half just to be with me for an hour or two. I know if I need him he'll be there, and that he'll be there when I just want him to be. (which is beyond awesome)
I don't know, I see myself differently with him. I have been able to look at myself in the mirror and say "hey! even with no makeup on I'm pretty!" and that is so weird to me! Me? Pretty? Yeah three months ago I couldn't say that.. The first time he called me a lady I broke down and cried... And now he lets me know every day that I'm a daughter of God and that I am a lady no matter what anyone else says. Morgan says he's turning me into a girl, hahaha.
And I in turn am always trying to boost him up and let him know how special he is, he's a convert to the church and he's so in love with the gospel. It amazes me how many times we discuss the gospel and scriptures, it's really cool when I'm able to tell my boyfriend "Verse 8 stuck out at me because.." and for him to say "Hey I liked this chapeter in Alma you should go check it out" it helps us grow closer as a couple and grow closer to our Heavenly Father as well.
There was one time I was very depressed and thinking about some things that had happened in the past and John sat there and listened to me then without a moments delay he told me to pray about it and that he would do the same and he said if I had the faith enough that my hurt would stop it'd stop. And it did.
He may be a convert but he teaches me so much and helps me realize things about the church I hadn't ever paid attention to. I love that! It's like looking at the church with another set of eyes.
Well this saturday I'm going to meet his family and have dinner with them, now normally here is where I would say that I'm completely nervous and worried but in this case it'd be a lie. I'm nothing less than excited and happy about it, he is the only memeber in his family but they sound like very nice kind hearted people. And who wouldn't want to meet the family of the person their in love with?
Our relationship is far different from anything I've ever known and many different reasons can be given for that, but what I know is that at this point in our lives we are meant to be together and that only John could make me happy in the ways that he does. What time may hold, only our Heavenly Father can reveal to us.. But for now, I enjoy the chances to get closer and spend every second getting to know him even better. Even though few know me better, and those few could only be my parents and my brother.
But between us, answers to prayers come in mysterious ways sometimes. :) Even when we don't mean to be looking for them..
I had planned to write Manti a dear john letter after he got in the feild, I made Manti a deal before he left, well it wasn't so much a deal as much as me saying "No! Not gonna happen till you get back!" so my plan was to write him a letter and basically break up with him and tell him that he was right and that I was sorry blah blah blah, well John and I started dating and I realized "oh crud, Manti was right.." and Manti being my best friend I wanted to be the one to tell him about John and I dating, so I asked everyone to not say anything till I did but somebody wrote Manti and told him about "Mesa's boyfriend" which made me a little mad because there was a very important reason I was waiting to tell him, so I get this email from Manti that said;
"I know what you've been up to ;) and if you both it's right let nno man stand your way. Not that you would anyway. ;)" and it shocked me worse than finding a snake in your sock drawr. So I wrote him back a long letter explaining most everything, but knowing how in tune with the spirit he is right now that he'd know the rest without me having to say it.
I'm still gonna dear john him, just gonna wait a bit longer so it'll catch him off guard. haha
Outta be interesting ;)
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