Like Glass

You know most of the time I say I'm not going to explain my writing? Well this time I'm going to, other wise this one could seem to way different from what it really is.
Have you ever had one of those times when things add up and become to much? That's kinda how my last few weeks have been, so I sat down and tried to get some of my trapped emotions out in a none violent, peaceful way and writing is almost the only way for me to do that.
"Like Glass" is how I felt at that time, you know seemingly strong but oh so easy to break and in some ways broken. So this is what came out...

Like Glass
By Mesa Bailey
December 18, 2009

Started off so perfectly,
The simple way you loved me.
Watching as we fall apart now,
Hearts shatter like glass.
Can’t hide the tears anymore,
Because their falling like rain!
Washing over us now
It’s coming down to the truth,
The one thing you never said.
Never meant for this,
Didn’t mean for the pain!
I keep holding on,
For what I don’t know
Cause you keep letting me go.
Falling so far,
Waiting to wake from this nightmare
Reach out to me,
Pull me close and never let go!
All your lies linger now,
They fill my head with fear.
Just tell me the truth,
For once let me in
To see the side of you that’s real.
We started off so perfectly,
All the peace you gave me
Falling apart!
Broken by the words unspoken
Oh for that simple way you loved me,
So distant now it’s seems.
You stand there watching me,
As my heart shatters like glass!

Reality

Okay, somethings just don't have to be explained... How ever I'm afraid this one does, you see I'm at a point right in my life where I've got a lot to think about and deal with. To be perfectly clear and honest, this is not pointed at anyone.. I'm not real sure where it came from, but it here it is. Take what you will from it.

Reality

By Mesa Bailey

December3, 2009

Every time I reach for the sky,

Gravity pulls me back into reality.

Weight of the world crushing down,

Just praying peace to swiftly come,

All on my own,

I’m lost without you now.

The sun so out of reach,

Though despair at my feet.

Can’t always see through the dark,

But the hope of light pushing on

Because when I’m reaching for the stars,

Reality pulls me back away.

Tainted by the twisted fates,

Holding out for something true

The air so thick between us,

Rapidly filling with all we don’t say.

Weight of the world on my mind,

Praying peace to find

Just let me reach for the sky,

Defy the cruelty of this dark reality.

Comfort my soul,

Because I’m lost without you now,

Standing on my own!

Reaching for the light,

Peace so soon to find.

Every time I reach for the sky,

Gravity pulls me back to face

My reality….

Our last date

So Indy and I have been together for a while now, we have our ups and downs just like an couple. We don't really get to see each other a whole lot and it takes it's tole on me sometimes, because when I'm with him and we're laughing and talking I'm happier then I've ever been. But once we're apart my chest aches, it's like when you drink something that's hot to fast and your chest gets all hot. Only it hurts too.. It's really weird!

But this past Saturday, the 14th we were able to meet and have lunch and see a movie. I was so excited that I cleaned most of the house in just a few hours.. (See when I have a chance to see Indy I clean... A lot...)
We had talked about what to do for a couple days before we even asked our parents, so that we could say "this is what we want to do" well our plans changed a few times and I ended up deciding that we'd go out to my favorite place to eat and then go see "The Forth Kind"
Saturday morning came and I woke up and picked out something cute and got ready. Then the cat goes into labor and had some problems so I went to help her, naturally I got all nasty so I changed and rushed out the door.
Indy was meeting me at the Herb Shop, I was so excited about seeing him! When I got there I ran into the back and made sure my hair and make-up looked alright and then I just sat and waited on him. He got there and spoke to my parents for a second then dad took us over to where we had our lunch.

We got there and were the only ones there :-) we had a very enjoyable lunch then dad dropped us off at the theater, we were 45 minutes early so we got our tickets and went inside. Where once again we were the only ones there.
Since we were so early the lights were on inside the theater so we turned on some music and just sat there and talked until the movie started.
I've never jumped so much in a movie, it wasn't at all scary but the sounds would suprise me and there was a few scenes I didn't expect so I jumped.. Of course Indy would laugh every time I did lol.
Now if you knew Indy you'd know he's able to be really sweet and romantic, we were sitting there and randomly I'd look over and just stare into his pretty brown eyes. Then out of no where he quotes Shakespeare!! I was amazed, no guy (even the ones who "love" Shakespeare have never done that) as supriesed as I was, I was about to suprise him even more.
Right after he finished the quote I kissed him.. I'm very shy, to the point that sometimes I can't look at him. So me kissing him was totally unexpected!

After the movie we walked out and waited for my dad to come pick us up and take us back to Herb Shop. When we got there we helped my mom stock some of the shelves and break down boxes.
While we broke down all the boxes I made fun of him for my knife being better then his (I had more knives on me then he did hahahaha)
When he's grandmother pulled up we were both kinda sad that he had to leave, but still in a great mood from spending a few hours together.

His birthday is next week so I'm working on his birthday gift (which is amazing by the way!) because of break I get to see him soon! YAY!

Find Me

This is another that I'm not going to explain. Sometimes you can't control what comes out, example; I wanted to write a poem for my boyfriend since today is our five month anniversary (not sure if I spelled that right) you know I wanted to write something sweet and romantic.........

Find Me

By Mesa Bailey

November 18, 2009

Lost in a web of contention,

Confused and alone

Oh come and find me!
All the empty words coming back,

Stabbing like a knife.

Won’t you come and save me?

Lonely drifter

Changing with the seasons,

Yet steady in my ways.

The space between so rapidly fills,

Awkward silence

Can’t separate myself,

Come find me!

I’m waiting for the sun rise,

After this endless winter,

The flames flicker and fade.

Stuck in this web of confession
Becoming that which we despise.

Oh how empty

The world slows it seems.

Hindering the peace within

Why don’t you come?

Save this lonely drifter.

Cry out for truth,

Won’t you come and find me?!

Final Goodbye

I'm not really going to explain this one. It just kinda came out, so take from it what you will.

Final Goodbye

By Mesa Bailey

November 18, 2009

Turning away to never look back,

Seems so long ago we said goodbye.

Now you call my name,

Pull me back yet again.

Trying to escape myself,

Can’t take your eyes out of my head

Moving on with life,

A true love I’ve found.

But your not letting go!
Just want to leave it all behind me.

Take your heart,

Push it away from me.

Gathering my last hope,

Looking for the strength to leave

Set me free,

Let me go.

Leave us behind.

Black eyes burned deep into my memory.

The end is calling,

Whistling through the trees

Don’t want this anymore.

After all this time apart your still here!
Please just walk away.

Along with all your lies,

Leave my heart.

Pressing forward with a new life

Don’t hold me back,

You call my name.

Try and stop progress.

Forcing your way back into my sight

We’ve said it before,

But must say it one last time

My final Goodbye!

Reasons

This one I've debated on posting ever since I wrote it. It's one of the more personal ones, but I thought that I would share it.. Maybe prove that sometimes I do really see good in the world, and that not all my poems are the sad and dark emo stuff.

Reasons

By Mesa Bailey

November 14, 2009

I knew there was a reason,

To keep holding on

What I didn’t know was reason is you.

Woke my heart from my nightmare,

And saved me from that dreadful scare

Try and find a way to show,

That what I feel is true!
You held me in your arms

Whispered that you love me,

And gently you kissed my lips.

If I could wish on the stars,

I’d wish that tonight would never end!
I want to stay this way forever.

I feel the butterflies,

When you walk by

I see the loving look in your eye.

Slowly moving,

Dancing on a cloud

Floating high in the sky!

Lost in the beauty of your eyes,

Shinning beacons of light

All I ever wanted,

Fighting to prove what’s right.

Shut my eyes,

So my heart can see

All that your love truly dose to me!

Searching for a reason to keep on believing,

Nobody knew that my reason is you!

To The Wind

I've been having days were I just sit and write all day..
This is one of the many poems I've written lately.

To the Wind

By Mesa Bailey

November 16, 2009

Holding your hand,

I’m ready to face the world.

Looking forward to tomorrow,

Doesn’t matter what’s behind us now.

A whisper in your ear,

Sweetly carries through the wind.

The peaceful beat of your heart,

Now pounds in my head

Counting the stars,

Close enough to touch now they seem.

Hold me tight,

And make it all fade away!

The world moving so slowly,

Pulling us through

Birds singing their songs,

So high in the trees..

With you by my side,

It becomes so clear.

Because as your holding my hand,

Sweet peace fills my soul.

Quieting the screaming,

Drying the tears

I’m ready for it now.

I’m looking on to tomorrow,

It’s all so distant to us.

Lost in the moment,

As I’m looking into your eyes

A whisper in your ear,

I’ll tell you everything.

When you listen to the wind